End of Summer Semester!

So today was my last day of summer semester! Woohoo! I'm so happy for it to be over with! It was my first time taking classes over the summer and it really does go by so fast. I took FCCS with Dr. Chattopadhay and it was really a fun class. It was not that challenging and everyone in the class was wonderful! I made so many new friends which I always love :)!

The end of the summer also means it's getting closer and closer until Pavel leaves for UNC. :(! I'm sad to see him go but I know he has to. The business school there is one of the best internationally and he will make so much more money with a degree from there. I'm supporting him the best I can but these past few days I've been really sad. We've been together since November 12th, 2006 and over these past almost 3 years (wow) he has become not only my boyfriend but my best friend. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and to not that he is going away for school makes me so sad.

Kabbalah seems to always talk to me in ways I can't understand. Like it knows exactly what I am going through and finds a way to get me through it. I am taking an online class and my rabbi recommended "The Essential Zohar: The Source of Kabbalistic Wisdom" by Rav P.S. Berg. I ordered it online and started reading it on the gym last night. I was stressed out about my presentation today and feeling down because I knew Pavel would be leaving soon. On page 11 it started talking about how Kabbalah is not necessarily physical but also spiritual. Berg compared it to riding a bike: like once you learn it, it never leaves you. He then went into talking about how people leave.

This what he had to say:
"As time passes and the relationship grows, we begin to know our friend's mind and heart. We begin to 'see' this person with our spiritual eyes as well as our physical senses. This may take place over a period of years. We may see our friend every day, or perhaps only less frequently, byt once the relationship has passed a certain point face-to-face contact becomes less important. Long separations may take place with no effect on the relationship. We may miss seeing our friend, but this is really the absence of a physical experience, because in truth we are deprived only at the level of our physical senses. The emotional and spiritual bond that has formed is not affected by absence, because it exists beyond the dimension of physical experience. Our friend's mind and heart remains interwoven with our own, unchanged."

I tear up every single time I read that last sentence. Since beginning to read the book last night, I have re read that paragraph about 20 times. Any time that I am missing Pavel I will read it. Of course I will fly up to see him as much as I can but it will be so different to what we are use to.

I know I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been so busy but I have still been studying Kabbalah just as much, if not more. This experience just really meant so much to me and I thought I would share it.

Hope everyone is doing well. I love you all :)

Robert Waxman, Update, and Pictures!!

The following is written by Robert Waxman and I found it SO interesting so I HAD to share it! It's about Jesus and Kabbalah which is kind of surprising since traditionally, Judaism is not associated with Jesus. I personally love Jesus :)

What kind of religious philosophy were Jesus and his disciples studying ?
They couldn't have been studying Christianity because The New Testament wasn't completed until 325 CE (almost 300 years after the crucifixion). They surely weren't studying Buddhism or Hinduism, so this leaves just one possibility they must have been studying the timeless, ancient wisdom of Jewish mysticism known as Kabbalah (which was very popular in Israel during this time).

Jesus veiled many Kabbalistic truths when he spoke to the masses (Matthew 13:34). "All these things Jesus spoke unto the multitudes in parables; and without a parable he spake not unto them" (KJV). Especially, when Jesus referred to the innermost power of the soul, he spoke in metaphors. An example of such a metaphor, is when Jesus refers to the "God-within" or illuminated soul: "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you..." (Luke 17:20-21, KJV).

He also refers to "The Father in secret": "...pray to thy Father which is in secret..." (Matthew 6:18, KJV). This is another Kabbalistic reference to the eternal spark known as "neshamah" or the God-like quality of each individual soul.

When Jesus refers to himself as the "Son of Man" (Mark 10:45, KJV), he is using a Kabbalistic phrase that was also used by Ezekiel and Daniel in The Jewish Bible, "Son of man, speak to the children of thy people" (Ezek. 33:2, JPS), "there came with the clouds of heaven one like unto a son of man" (Dan. 7:13, JPS). In Kabbalah, the term "Son of Man" describes the soul's downward refection of the original man "created" on the sixth day (Gen. 1:27, JPS). This original man is known in Kabbalah as "The Adam Kadmon" (the first and last Adam).

Paul refers to Jesus as the "the last Adam": 1 Corinthians 15:45, "The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit" (KJV). This title of A-dam Kad-mon is defined as, "the one and only (or only begotten) 'Over Soul' of all humanity." According to Kabbalah,, the first Adam breaks apart (or is crucified) into trillions of "little souls". Each descending soul becomes a "Son of Man" that is striving to reach spiritual perfection. When these trillions of souls have achieved "messianic consciousness", they will reunite to form "the last Adam". This "resurrection" of the last Adam Kadmon will come at "the end of times", or the end of the physical Universe (that gave its life for the sake of all mankind; Einstein's Big Crunch). At this final stage in matter, all souls will experience an "ascension" back to pure Spirit, or the One Divine Source.

When examining the sayings of Jesus, it becomes apparent that he was familiar with the ancient wisdom teachings of Kabbalah and the messianic power of each individual soul. His intended message came straight from the heart of Kabbalistic philosophy: "the soul enters into this Universe by immaculate conception
(as spirit falls into matter), and then exits when the Universe comes to an end (as matter ascends back into spirit)."

-Robert Waxman





Okay~ Now time for my blogging! It has been forever since I have posted! I have just been so busy with school. Especially now since it is getting towards the end of the semester. I am really hoping to keep my 4.0 and the only class I am concerned about is Communications. I thought that was going to be my easiest class since I am so good at public speaking but there are so many terms and book work that had to be done. Anyways, I made the decision to take summer classes with hopes of graduating early. Also, my scholarship kicks in after 30 credit hours and I'm at like 24 after this semester so I will be in school for free this Fall! yay!

I just started the book: "God Wears Lipstick" It's Kabbalah for women by Karen Berg and it is one of the best books I have EVER read!! I absolutely love it!! If you are a female interested in Jewish Mysticism I strongly recommend it! If you want to borrow my copy, message me and I'll let you know when I'm done with it.

Passover was Sunday and we incorporated Easter and Passover into one holiday! Puffin and I painted Easter/Passover eggs! I did a Star of David on mine.

There is a Bible study group at my college and I think I'm going to go next week. I am just nervous about what they will think of me. My "bible" is the Zohar however, Kabbalah definitely still deals a lot with the bible. I am looking very forward to going. I talked to my friend who was in it and she said that "no one really cares what religion you are" and that they "just care about sharing the same belief" so I thought that was really awesome. Some people are so judgemental and narrow minded!

Here are some pictures from the past month or so:

This one was at my Phi Theta Kappa initiation with Lieutenant Poythress. He was the key guest speaker and is predicted to be Georgia's next governor:


This was at Zoo Atlanta 2009 and I LOVED this bird:

This was at Opera Thursday night (4/9) for Lil Jon..haha!:

This was at the Bodies Exhibit with my amazing chapter!:

And that's pretty much it for now! I will try to update more often but I can't make any promises! After this semester is over, I have two weeks off (one of which I will be at the beach w/ my family and puffin) then it's back to school for summer semester! I'm a busy little beaver!!:)

International Kabbalah Congress 2009

The International Kabbalah Congress was last week and it amazed me. Of course, I was unable to go because of school but I watched live footage and “chatted” on reflections with other Kabbalists around the world. What really amazed me was the diversity. Kabbalah originally derived from Judaism and is still defined as Jewish Mysticism, but there were people there from all around the world and from all different backgrounds. I think that Kabbalah has a sense of bringing people together. There were so many different people there all celebrating the same thing: Kabbalah. Look at this video if you want to know more!!

I just feel so empowered being a Kabbalist. It has changed my life so much and I LOVE sharing it! I want everyone to know how much of an impact it has made on my life. My whole purpose in life now is to “find the upper light” now and every action I make is designed to fulfill that. I make mistakes and I am obviously not perfect but I’m trying my best.

I had someone ask about the difference between Judaism and Kabbalah. They are NOT the same thing. I am not “jewish.” I am a Kabbalist. I thought that I have been very clear on this in my past posts but I guess some people are still confused. Since Kabbalah is a jewish based religion, I celebrate all of the main holidays ie: Hanukkah, Passover, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashannah. Facebook me if you have another question so that I can get back faster to you specifically. I do not update this blog often enough.

The Western Civ test I was so worried about went so well. I got a 96! Woohoo. I was so happy and relieved. I got a 95 on my first paper too! So school is going great this semester. I really like it a lot better than I thought I would. Yesterday was Rachel’s birthday so we all went to dinner and had a lot of fun. This weekend is Valentine’s day which I mentioned in my last blog. Pavel got nominated and voted as vice president in finance for Delta Sigma Pi so I'm super proud of him but he's going to be a busy puffin! I got invited into Phi Theta Kappa which is an honorary fraternity/sorority. I'm going to join because it looks really good on resumes. I decided not to get involved in greek life but this isn't "social." I posted sooner than I thought I would so I don’t have pictures yet but I will next time.

Karma, Dharma, and Reincarnation

School has been going great! I’m very busy but I love it. English and Communications are my favorite subjects. I like Political Science but Western Civilization is way too boring for me! It’s so dry. I’ve been studying almost all day for my first test in there tomorrow. I hope it’s not too brutal. The professor gives a study guide which I am very fond of! Pavel and I are doing great as always! I could not ask for anything more in a relationship. I can not wait for Valentines Day. I know this sounds cheesy but it’s one of my favorite holidays. (probably because I’ve never been single). We are going to a fondue restaurant called Melting Pot which is close and somewhere we both like. I ordered his “main” gift offline from the company’s direct website and it took almost a month to get here. I was getting so nervous and thinking that customs had confiscated puffin’s valentines day gift! Haha. It came in today and looks great! I can’t wait to give it to him. I can’t be too detailed because I know he reads this!

Anyways, back to Kabbalah!! I want to talk about my beliefs on what happens to us after we die. It’s kind of a touchy subject so it’s not brought up very often. To sum it up: I believe in Karma, Dharma, and Reincarnation. When I was a Christian I always hypocritically believed in Karma. I know it’s not a Christian belief but I’ve always liked the idea of “what goes around comes around.” Since being Kabbalist I have been doing some serious studying on the concept. Karma is what happens to you in your next life. Dharma is what decides this. I have been trying to build up good karma but I definitely have some bad karma built up too. Dharma, for example, would be like helping others for the joy of helping them. If you have done good Dharma in this life, you will have good Karma and in your next life you will live a happy life. I don’t believe in “heaven” or “hell” in the traditional form. I believe that people create their own heaven and their own hell. It’s not the traditional view ie: burning in hell, heaven with golden gates, etc.

Have you ever had that feeling when you first meet someone that’s like “wow, I feel like I’ve known you forever!” Well I think that is literal. I think that if this happens, you knew them in a past life and you have found each other in the present life. I also believe strongly in soul mates. Pavel is truly my soul mate. He is my best friend and I couldn’t picture my life without him in it. I think that in my next life we will find each other and be together forever and ever, life after life.

I’m also going to do a little rant: So I signed up for the “Google Alert.” If you are not familiar with it, you enter a key word and it will e-mail you daily or weekly when there is a new article or blog with that key word. I signed up for this service the other day with Kabbalah as my key word. I signed up for the daily alerts. So far, EVERY article has been about Guy Richie, Madonna, etc. It’s so ridiculous. It frustrates me that something that means so much to me only gets attention because of celebrities.

That’s all I have for this time. Next time will probably be after Valentine’s Day since I’m so bad about updating this. I will post pictures. I am so excited to wear my new dress! I hope everyone is having a good semester!!

My Cairn Terrier

So I also have a killer cairn terrier :)! His name is Louie but we call him Louger! (Louie+tiger)

Hanukkah was amazing! My parents & Pavel were supportive and prayed with me. I am in love with my prayer book. I want to learn Hebrew so bad I can't even express it. The book has both translations and hopefully one day I will be able to read the hebrew text. I went to lunch with my friends who are part Jewish and they helped me with the pronunciation. I was actually very surprised that I could do the cough sounding "ch" lol! I proudly wore my yarmulke at night fall on the 8 days of Hanukkah! At first I had trouble with it staying on but two bobby pins were the magic touch ;)! We did Christmas as well since my parents are Christian and Pavel is Russian Orthodox (basically christianity) . It was really neat to open Christmas and Hanukkah gifts. Celebrate Jesus' birthday and the lighting of the menorah. I really enjoyed it. I think we did very well balancing the two holidays.



I also want to clear up my views on Jesus. So many of my Christian friends ask me if I believe in Jesus. The answer is: YES! That is the main difference between me and a traditional Jew. I am a Kabbalist. I was raised as a Christian. Even though Christianity is no longer my religion does not mean that I don't believe in Jesus. I know that this might sound kind of harsh and I don't mean to offend anyone but I think that there are so many religions that are searching for something that Christians have already found: Jesus. I believe that he is the Messiah, the son of God, and died for my sins. He still lives today and watches over all of us. I feel sorry for anyone that misses out on Jesus. I feel like I am often misunderstood by being a Kabbalist since it is JEWISH mysticism. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. I promise I will not be offended. When I taught Kabbalah to my religion class last semester there were many people in there who had never heard of it and the rest who had had only heard of it through Madonna so I promise I will not judge you lol! I love sharing Kabbalah and hearing feedback...even if it is negative.

So now that is cleared up, Happy New Year 2009! yay! 2008 was a very big year for me. I graduated high school and started college. Two very big turning points in my life. Pavel and I also celebrated our 2 year anniversary on November 12th and of course, converted to Kabbalah (kind of a biggie)! It was a good year for me but I'm looking forward to what 2009 will hold for me. This semester starts Monday. I am taking Political Science, English 1102, Western Civilization, and Communications. I honestly liked my schedule better last semester but I'm very happy that I do not have to worry about Math!! whew! This summer I will probably take one class and get certified to substitute teach in Cobb County with a focus on High School. I really want to get use to the class room environment before I start student teaching so that it is not so overwhelming. In the Fall, I will substitute maybe 2-3x a month on Fridays when I don't have classes. I'm very excited!

Also, I was thinking the other day of how lucky I am to be able to practice Kabbalah. I mean, in some countries there isn't freedom of religion. For example, what if you knew you were a Christian but were forced to practice Sikhism or even Sufism? I love professing my faith and couldn't imagine being embarrassed of my religious beliefs. Unfortunately, in many countries that is the case. I saw this picture on my friends facebook and it really expresses how I felt:


It might not have much to do with religion but it speaks so loudly when it comes to the different lifestyles that occur in different countries. Despite ignorance, we are very fortunate to live in America.

Hanukkah!

Tomorrow will be the first day of Hanukkah. This is my first time celebrating the holiday so I am SO excited! My family is doing "Christmukkah" because we will be celebrating both holidays. All Jewish holidays start at sun down so we will light the first candle around 6ish. I have a collection of prayers and verses that I will be reading. Most of them come from the Torah & Zohar and I have a "Sabbath and Festival Prayer Book" that I have chosen a few prayers from too. I will wear my yarmulke for the first time. It is very cute. It is hand knitted, navy blue, and has a circle of star of davids. I am going to see my friend Melissa perform before she leaves for Kenya after we light the candle so I will wear my yarmulke to that event too. I think it will be interesting to see people's responses.

For those of you who do not what Hanukkah is or what it is about, it is the festival of lights. Here is Hanukkah in my words: The Jews were sent into exile in Babylon after they built their second temple. They came back after being in exile. The jews were dispersed but the ones who returned had only a little oil left and they didn't think that it would burn long at all. Miraculously, it burnt for 8 days. That is my short version. If you want to learn more google it or read books. There is a lot of info on it!


I will write a post after Hanukkah to give a reflection!

I finished my first semester of college with all A's. I am very proud of myself. Next semester I will be taking political science, western civilization, communications, and english 1102. I'm just glad that I don't have math next semester! woohoo!